M: The transformative relationship between a man and his wife. (Q1.5).
The M is the HIM’s most important relationship
The HIM rejects the imagery of weight and balance in favor of a vision of his his Fellowship as an array of concentric rings—like an archery target—which we call the Concentrica .
On his back the HIM carries a quiver of arrows that represent the finite time and energy he has been given in his life by the higher power that is outside of his control. Just as with the days of his life, he has no idea how many arrows he has been provided, so he shoots each as if it were his last, aiming at the center of his Concentrica in order to have the most IMPACT and avoid committing relationship malpractice.
At the bullseye of the Q’s Concentrica is his M, his relationship with his wife, the one upon which all of his other relationships are founded. The M is the Q’s transformative relationship because through it he becomes something new—legally, practically and spiritually. Before marriage, a man is an “I”, but afterwards he is an “Us”. The Q aims most of his arrows at the M because if that fails, the rest of his relationships will fail as well.
King Solomon had the means and opportunity to test every single thing in his known world to discover the meaning of life. After a lifetime of experimentation, this was his conclusion: enjoy life with you wife, whom you love. The works of Solomon were mighty, unprecedented in their time. Yet by the end, he saw his accomplishments as nothing but meaningless toil under the sun. But a man’s wife, the one he loves, that is where Solomon believed a man should focus his energy. It is there that a man finds meaning.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar
Leaders Leading Leaders
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship! “