ONE STEP FURTHER
Do more than exist: live.
Do more than touch: feel.
Do more than look: observe.
Do more than read: absorb.
Do more than hear: listen.
Do more than listen: understand.
Do more than think: reflect.
Do more than just talk: say something.
SHORTIES: The sacrificial relationship between a man and his children. (Q1.6)
The Sacrificial Relationship Between A Man And His Children
A man gives everything he has for his children
After the M, Shorties are next on the next ring on the Concentrica. The HIM’s relationship with his children is sacrificial because he will give up everything he has for them. How much money does he spend on each of his children? Simple: all the money he has divided by the number of children he is raising.
The HIM’s relationship with his children is unique in a critical way. It is the one connection that can never be fully severed. He can quit his job and get a new one. He can divorce his wife and remarry. But every child he has remains his child forever regardless of how far he may roam, how distant he may become or how many other children he may have. A man may depart from his children, but he cannot quit them. While he may hide from them physically or emotionally his responsibility for them is eternal, as will be the consequences if commits relationship malpractice in their upbringing. The seeds of discontent sown by the ineffective father will yield a legacy of damaged fruit.
The IMPACT (for good or bad) that a man has on his children cannot be underestimated
The quality of a man’s relationship with his children them defines the quality of their relationships with everyone else for the rest of their lives. If he is absent, they will be distrustful. If he is capricious, they will be unjust. If he is cold, they will be withdrawn. But, if he is present, just and warm the HIM will have imprinted upon his children’s hearts a template of relational success upon which they can rely throughout their lives. They will in turn pass it on to their Shorties. In this way, the IMPACT is infinite.
The HIM’s Commitment provides his children freedom
A father is to his children as the needle point of a compass is to the pencil. As they grow, the arc of their lives is naturally drawn further and further away from the center. The HIM founds his point in deep and solid rock, knowing this will ensure that the progressively enlarging circles his children draw will remain true. Even after he has left the Earth his children will rely throughout their lives upon him as the centering anchor empowering them to move boldly without fear of being cast loose from Virtue.
The HIM’s unwavering sacrifice for his children allows them the freedom to grow into the men and women they were created to be. He bears this in mind in all his works and efforts.
For them, he sacrifices everything
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Behold, children are a heritage from theLord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate
No pressure, no diamonds.”
“When one ceases from conflict, whether because he has won, because he has lost, or because he cares no more for the game, the virtue passes out of him.”
Charles Horton Cooley
“The more we run from conflict, the more it masters us; the more we try to avoid it, the more it controls us; the less we fear conflict, the less it confuses us; the less we deny our differences, the less they divide us.”
Leaders Leading Leaders
I had been working much too long on this job. I guess things could have been worse. I certainly wasn’t doing hard labor. But going door to door asking questions as a representative of the federal government wasn’t the most satisfying position either.
It was August. It was hot. I had to wear a tie.
“Hello. My name is Bob Perks and we are doing a survey in this neighborhood…”
“I’m not interested! Good bye!”…slam, lock.
You can’t imagine how many times I heard that. I finally caught on and began with “Before you slam the door, I am not selling anything and I just need to ask a few questions about yourself and the community.”
The young woman inside the doorway, paused for a moment, raised her eyebrows as she shrugged her shoulders confused by my rude introduction.
“Sure. Come on in. Don’t mind the mess. It’s tough keeping up with my kids.”
It was an older home in a section of the valley where people with meager income found affordable shelter. With the little they had, the home looked comfortable and welcoming.
“I just need to ask a few questions about yourself and family. Although this may sound personal I won’t need to use your names. This information will be used…”
She interrupted me. “Would you like a glass of cold water? You look like you’ve had a rough day.”
“Why yes!” I said eagerly. Just as she returned with the water, a man came walking in the front door. It was her husband. “Joe, this man is here to do a survey.” I stood and politely introduced myself.
Joe was tall and lean. His face was rough and aged looking although I figured he was in his early twenties. His hands were like leather. The kind of hands you get from working hard, not pushing pencils. She leaned toward him and kissed him gently on the cheek. As they looked at each other you could see the love that held them together. She smiled and tilted her head, laying it on his shoulder. He touched her face with his hands and softly said “I love you!”
They may not have had material wealth, but these two were richer than most people I know. They had a powerful love. The kind of love that keeps your head up when things are looking down. “Joe works for the borough.” she said. “What do you do?” I asked. She jumped right in not letting him answer. “Joe collects garbage. You know I’m so proud of him.” “Honey, I’m sure the man doesn’t want to hear this.” said Joe. “No, really I do.” I said. “You see Bob, Joe is the best garbage man in the borough. He can stack more garbage on the truck than anyone else. He gets so much in one truck that they don’t have to make as many runs.”, she said with such passion. “In the long run,” Joe continues, “I save the borough money. Man hours are down and the cost per truck is less.”