M: The transformative relationship between a man and his wife. (Q1.5)
The Transformative Relationship Between A Man And A Woman
Accelerating Fellowship Requires Dynamic Equilibrium
A HIM who has gotten his relationship with himself Right naturally begins to Accelerate his Fellowship, his healthy relationships with those in Proximity.
While Fitness is largely an inward-seeking endeavor, Fellowship is primarily outward-seeking. It is the sum total of a man’s relationships with his family, friends and Community, the people he will most directly IMPACT during his life. Keeping those relationships Accelerating throughout his lifetime takes as much daily discipline and attention as it does to maintain his weight and waistline. In fact, Accelerating Fellowship requires even more skillful effort from the Q because it necessitates collaboration with other people. Other people with minds, attitudes and objectives of their own.
The Q treats this skillful effort as a deliberate practice that he applies and seeks to improve upon each day of his life. To do so, he must first reject the Oprah Bomb of “work-life balance” as the cultural bromide that it is. While the Q must work to provide for his family, his work is not wholly counter-balanced by the sum total of his other relationships—it is far less important than that. Moreover, the Q knows that no man can put into a state of balance that which is largely outside of his control. Unlike static matter, relationships are dynamic and ever-changing. Only inert things, things that never change, can be measured through the use of a scale.
The M is the HIM’s most important relationship
Read More M: The transformative relationship between a man and his wife. (Q1.5).
1 Peter 3:7-10
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
- “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
- “The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.”
- “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
Leaders Leading Leaders
Close to a battlefield over 200 years ago a rider passes a group of exhausted soldiers who were digging themselves into an important defensive position. Noticing their section leader was mounted as well, and shouting orders at the men to work faster, dig deeper and threatening to whip anyone that didn’t complete their work within the hour.
Asked by the stranger, “If this is so important why are you not helping?” The section leader advised that he is in charge, and the men must do as he says. The section leaders exact comments where, “You should help them yourself if you feel so strongly about it.”
Much to the surprise of the section leader the stranger dismounted, and worked in the trenches, side by side with the men until the job was finished. Once the work was done he congratulated the men, and approached the puzzled section leader.
“Next time your rank prevents you from supporting your men, you are to notify top command and I will provide a more permanent solution,” said the stranger, who was now up close and easily recognizable as General Washington.
This lesson is a fantastic one for supervisors and leaders that you are coaching to help them help their own teams. The ultimate goal is to realize that you’re only a true leader if you’re willing to do the work of your team without complaint, when they need you most.