Have courage and face people who you have not seen eye to eye with
Confrontation is very difficult for most people. If you feel uneasy just reading the word confront, I’d like to suggest that you substitute the word clarify. Clarify the issue instead of confronting the person. Then follow these ten commandments.
1. Do it privately, not publicly.
2. Do it as soon as possible. That is more natural than waiting a long time.
3. Speak to one issue at a time. Don’t overload the person with a long list of issues.
4. Once you’ve made a point, don’t keep repeating it.
5. Deal only with actions the person can change. If you ask the person to do something he or she is unable to do, frustration builds in your relationship.
6. Avoid sarcasm. Sarcasm signals that you are angry at people, not at their actions, and may cause them to resent you.
7. Avoid words like always and never. They usually detract from accuracy and make people defensive.
8. Present criticisms as suggestions or questions if possible.
9. Don’t apologize for the confrontational meeting. Doing so detracts from it and may indicate you are not sure you had the right to say what you did.
10. Don’t forget the compliments. Use what I call the “sandwich” in these types of meetings:
Rinse and Repeat
The F3QSOURCE version see Below
ACCOUNTABILITY: Submission to Standard through Enforcement and Consequence. (Q2.5).
APPRENTICESHIP: The phase of the LDP within which Positive Habit Transfer takes place. (Q3.14).
CANDOR: Graciously telling the hard truth and demanding to hear it from others. (Q3.8).
CORRECTION: Zealously advocating for Shared Virtue. (Q2.6).
COURAGE: Setting aside fear to turn hardship into grace. (Q3.12).
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
― Randy Pausch
“If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?”
― T.S. Eliot
“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli
Leaders Leading Leaders
There was a business executive who was deep in debt and could see no way out.
Creditors closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. “I can see that something is troubling you,” he said.
After listening to the executive’s woes, the old man said, “I believe I can help you.”
He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, “Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time.”
Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.
The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
“I can erase my money worries in an instant!” he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.
Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.
“I’m so glad I caught him!” she cried. “I hope he hasn’t been bothering you. He’s always escaping from the rest home and telling people he’s John D. Rockefeller.”
And she led the old man away by the arm.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after
It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after